God's Revolving Door

This white man first apologises for the lack of activity in recent months regarding this blog. In some respects I have to admit that my absence from this forum has likely been judicious. For I had been treading a difficult path recently work/ministry-wise and I'm sure my contributions as a result would have strayed uninspiringly into the negative. Put simply, this past six months have been a test of endurance - a very real period of being contained tightly within the 'crucible of suffering and pain'. Emotional pain and spiritual anxiety. But again God has demonstrated to this white man that hope-filled rainbows always follow the deluges of life's storms. And that is my story...or His-story with little old me in it!

The basic premise for why I named this blog "this white man's world" was because of the fact that I really was a 'white man living in a yellow man's world!' Having attended Vietnamese church for 12 years and been a pastor for 6-7 years of those dozen years, that was my reality. Was...

Early in January one night in the early hours I did something I haven't done in many years. Being unable to sleep (unusual for me) and feeling pretty stressed out by church, its senior leadership and the direction it all seemed to be taking I resumed writing a diary. It was nothing less than a vivid outpouring of emotions onto paper; an involuntary vomiting out of emotional hurt and deep anxiety as to my place in church, life, the universe and anything else. The one thing I found myself repeating over and over was for God to show me a way through the messy tangle of church and life that I felt ensnared within. And after two pages of pain settled onto those pages I closed the diary and slept well.

Not long thereafter Phuong, myself and the boys ventured over the city to the east-side as we had made plans to visit the historic train attraction Puffing Billy in Belgrave. Being a Sunday and having two weeks 'break' from Vietnamese church, I randomly decided that we could pop in and pay a visit to my old spiritual home, Camberwell Salvation Army. It was on the way and it is always nice to return and say hello to familiar faces and old friends. So there we went and enjoyed a quiet holiday-style low-key service. After friendly conversation with many people I'd known and grown up with as a kid I then caught up with a young guy, Rick who is now the church's Corps Sargeant-Major, the church equivalent of a typical church secretary/elder. After the obligatory hello...how's it going etc... he asks me this "how would you like a new job!" I was quite taken back for no-one usually asks an employed full-time church pastor if they are interested in another job! So this question was met with a little stunned silence at first but then genuine curiosity. Anyway Rick agreed to send me a position description for a Children & Families pastor role and we went on our way...just wondering at that initial stage..."what if..?"

Then in the coming week I became aware of a newly proposed structure that was going to be ratified at the next Vietnamese church committee meeting. This change in programmatic structure, completely formulated by the senior pastor without my knowledge or collaboration would effectively remove my authority and ability as a pastor in the church to act or decide on any area of children, youth and young adult ministry autonomously. For the past 6-7 years I had served God and His church and led the young people in this way in accordance with the trust that the church congregation had firmly placed in me. But it was clear to me that my authority was being removed and replaced with a system that clearly would have rendered my position ineffective and, as such, untenable. So I had a decision to make - a decision Phuong and I prayed about but ultimately didn't have to sweat over too much. My resignation was given at that Sunday committee meeting and the exit sign over the Vietnamese church front door began to glow brightly. The white man was actually going to leave the yellow man's world!

That night I sent off a letter expressing my interest in the Camberwell Salvation Army pastoral position and just waited on God to see what might happen. To cut a long story short, immediately after being interviewed on the Thursday after resigning, I was offered the full-time position as Children & Families Ministry Pastor. A fortnight earlier I spewed out pain onto a page; now all I could do was to shout out praise and thanksgiving to my God!

And so now I find myself in this new role in a place so familiar. I work out of the house I grew up in for close to ten years. My office, what was once my brother's bedroom, is adjacent to my old bedroom! Very soon I will take up a role teaching RE (Religious Education) during the week at Camberwell South Primary School. I was a pupil at that school from grades 2-6! The word surreal certainly comes to mind! I truly have come full circle it seems and I am back home under the banner of the blood and fire Army!

They say God closes doors only to open new doors. This I completely understand and testify to, but with one significant difference...my door is revolving! My mother recently commented on Facebook that her son has travelled through some interesting and varied chapters in his life. My reply to her then is the same as what I know and am so thankful for deep inside - the chapters of my life have been diverse but I thank God for every one of them because He is the best and most creative Script-Writer one could ever have! Amen!