Fatherhood & Heroism...

This white man has been thinking about fatherhood in the past few days. Fear not, there are no new prospects of fatherhood on the horizon! Our two sons are a blessing and any more blessing would be just greedy...not to mention plain miraculous! No, I've been pondering fatherhood upon seeing the many reminders of the impending Father's Day this Sunday here in Australia. Cards in shops, cheap aftershave lotions for "dashing dads", socks and jocks and so on...all the usual shopping mall trappings celebrating and selling Father's Day.

Watching a recent documentary here on Aussie TV about the story of one of Australian Football's great players, Ben Cousins and his battle with drug addiction also reminded this white man about fatherhood. Because whilst the doco focused on the obvious struggle of an elite athlete dealing with substance abuse, a high-profile sporting career and his life spiralling out of control, in my opinion the real hero of the story was Ben Cousin's father. This pretty ordinary bloke, Bryan Cousins is the father of a champion footballer yet what truly emerged is the fact that Bryan Cousins is a champion father in his own right. He supported his son through dark moments, an uncertain future, even accompanying his son to an 'appointment' to pick up drugs. Bryan Cousins never gave up on his son, no doubt through many times of doubt, fear and disappointment. He would not be moved from his son's side and stood firm for the sake of his son. That's a true father...a true hero.

And then tonight this white man was watching the latest big thing on the Australian small screen, the X Factor. Another talent show for hopeful singers and entertainers, part of the initial charm of such shows as X-Factor is the audition process where we are presented with all sorts of wannabee stars with dreams and aspirations that often outmatch their skills and talent. So contestants are paraded out in all their vocal/theatrical ineptitude much to the collective mirth of a nation well versed in the art of laughing hardest at the easiest of targets. And of course tonight was no exception, but there was one of those 'grey' moments of uneasy tension when the audience and the judges wanted to laugh and dismiss the efforts of just another 'try-hard' but they couldn't really do it because there was a compelling 'story-behind-the-story' happening before them. This 38 year-old Greek man comes out and performs a more-than cheesy rendition of an old Rick Astley pop classic from the 80's. It was a forgettable performance that would usually be written off with a parting cutting shot, usually from that bileduct of a man, Kyle Sandilands. But not this time...why? Because this very ordinary balding, unctuous-looking Greek bloke had his nine year-old son out the back listening intently and appreciating the performance of his dad...his hero. For sure this man would never sell a song in a deafness institute, let alone ever have a hope of selling a CD. But that didn't matter to that young boy out backstage, crying and hugging his dad with pride for what was, in his estimation, the greatest performance since, well...Rick Astley. Because it was about something more than the quality of a song or a well-rehearsed performance - it was about a son first encouraging, then seeing his ordinary dad living a dream...being a hero...his hero...his dad.

And so this white man is reminded that there is something very powerful in the way that a son can see his father. Sons want to see their dads as their heroes; actually they need to see them that way. And the same for daughters as well with their fathers and mothers. Traditionally I don't pay that much attention to events like Mother's Day and Father's Day, not because I'm uncaring or lacking in sentiment but simply because every day should celebrate such remembrances. That's a lesson taught to me by my own parents that remains as their legacy. Yet this Father's Day I will hold this truth close to my heart - that my sons look to me as a hero...their hero. And that I'm balding, I'm 38 and I'm not much of a singer, but I am a dad and my sons don't need a Pavarotti but they do deserve a hero!

And have a Happy Father's Day Dad!