Starbucked!

Interesting to hear that the worldwide coffee franchise juggernaut Starbucks is winding back it's operations in Australia. Too many stores too close to each other cannibalising each others businesses they say. Hard economic times mixed with too expensive a price for their beverage they add. This white man says fair enough but my gripe with Starbucks originated a long time ago when they first started to spring up everywhere taking the caffeine world by storm. I, being the overly indulgent coffee aficionado I am, found myself desiring to try the famed Starbucks latte grande and that's where the trouble began. Young student girl, calling herself a barista (the shame of it) takes the white mans order and then asks for his name. He's taken aback...he ordered a coffee, not a personal introduction! Flustered I blurt out my name and she proceeds to write it on the side of my soon-to-be-filled take-away cup. The white man feels uneasy about this but what can he do? The cash has passed hands, the damage has been done and now everyone in Starbucks Highpoint knows the white man's name! The coffee is ready and the girl yells out at the top of her voice COLIN! Latte grande for COLIN! Sheepishly I grab the coffee and leave but then am reminded that my name is plastered all over the place as I walk past people admiring the size of my latte. Of course, in big letters down the side of the cup is COLIN. Maybe it's just me but I don't really like the general population in shopping centres knowing my name because it's written on something that I'm wearing or, as in this case, holding. That latte didn't go down very well at all and incidently, the coffee itself was less than average in any case. But for my piece of mind I felt I had to rectify this wrong-doing so the following week I went back to Starbucks with a cunning plan. I ordered a small latte this time and sure enough they asked for my name again - told them my name was BUCK. She looks at me funny but writes it on there regardless. After that I walked around feeling better because people could only see BUCK on my Starbucks cup! Pretty lame I know but it made this white man feel empowered at the time! Oh, and the coffee was still rubbish!

So farewell Starbucks, well most of you anyway. And one parting word of advice - the day you guys can justify calling your vast crew of newbie students 'baristas' is the day McDonald's could conceivably call one of their teenage patty-pushers a chef! Give me a break....