Taking formality to a whole new level!

Frequently whilst traversing the borders of the yellow man's world, this white man has cause to deeply ponder upon his own state of relative whiteness. And again, over the past week he was reminded of how ivory he is when it comes to young committed Vietnamese Christian youth and the area of boy/girl relationships. In recent conversations with various youth it was brought to my attention that these young aspiring couples, prior to stamping their budding courtships as an OFFICIAL boyfriend and girlfriend reality, have been formally requesting parental and pastoral permission to do so. In other words, Harry doesn't feel comfortable to be Sally's boyfriend until he has formally asked her parents and his pastor for that privilege. Once that formal green light is given then, and only then, the relationship is go, go, go...

Now this white man admits that, at a first glance, the idea of such a level of neo-conservatism is slightly bemusing. After all, it's not like these young couples are taking the leap of faith down the matrimonial aisle. Not even close. We are talking about youthful boyfriend/girlfriend 'let's see what happens' scenarios. It prompts that three-lettered inquisitor to raise its curious head: W-H-Y? Because after all this white man can't recall ever taking such formal steps when his female suitors in his youthful days all took the stage and played the starring role as the girlfriend only to exit left of stage just as quickly?! I mean even when wedding bells loomed on the horizon no request was made of parents or pastors - it was more a process of notification! So what does this white man really make of all this seemingly superfluous renewed chivalrous formality?

Whilst my head says that such formality is over the top, my heart says that this brand of elevated courtesy is great! For it is both refreshing and heart-warming to know that, at least some young people today view and value the commitment of even a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship so highly. Highly enough to involve their parents and their pastor in the process. For deep down inside this parent would cherish the privilege of being consulted, when that future day comes, by his son(s) as to the potentiality of this or that girlfriend. And this pastor is similarly pleasantly humbled when his church youth approach him to discuss their potential relationships.

So to the young lady who asked me yesterday what I thought about her potential man-hunk and whether I thought their blossoming relationship was OK, I say this:- whilst my head, then mouth jokingly said "what are you asking me for, if you're gonna go out with him then just do it!", my heart was really saying "thank you!"